The Flu and Writing

I have the flu and I'm writing a book. I'm hoping that if I put both of those things out there, one of them will disappear and the other will actually happen. 

When Ava was very young, I started writing. I wanted other Moms to know it's OK to have a terror for a child, and that things will get better. I suppose I was writing out of desperation, which was quickly followed by big dreams, a title and chapter outlines. The book chronicles my first 5 years as Sassy's Momma and how we not only survived each other, but came out on the other side, better. I have no idea where this will go and I'm not sure that anyone would actually pay money to read my book. In my head, I talk myself out of it each time I sit down to write.

"I don't have time."
"I've never written anything...why would anyone care?"
"I'm not the best parent, so who am I to give parenting advice?"
"Adding one more thing to my plate is a bad idea."
"How would I ever choose and image for the cover?"
"Self publish or try to get an agent?"
"I don't know how to write a query letter."
"Oh, and I don't know how to write a book."

When I sit back and look at the big picture, I realize that I'm the only one standing in my way. It's sad, really, that we can so easily talk ourselves out of our dreams because we're afraid.

I'm afraid of failing.

If you read this, and I fail at writing my book, I'll be embarrassed. That would suck. Maybe the pressure of knowing it's out there will help me finish...we shall see.

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Sassy and Apples

Sassy Pants and I share a love for apples that the men in our family just don't understand. The general population assumes that women prefer chocolate. While I love me some chocolate, I'd take an apple crisp over chocolate cake any day. In fact, I typically have birthday pie, not birthday cake. 

 Sas and I enjoyed a beautiful October day in Oak Glen with her class from school. She was a bit reserved, saving her smiles for me when no one was looking. 

Buddy Turns 6

We celebrated Aden's 6th birthday a few months ago (you know, in September, when he was born). He wanted an overnight Disneyland trip, a fruit tart and an Angry Birds Birthday party.

Who am I to say, "no"? 

 

(why these last few images have gone askew, I'll never know, and I can't fix it. Boo.)

The Littles Start School

Our morning was blissful, full of anticipation and without fuss. This day was easy for Sassy Pants. She wasn't changing schools, and had already transitioned to her Pre-K class in June. It was just another happy day for her at preschool. But Buddy? This was big, really big. When the time came, he actually wanted to wear his tie. His teacher was going to love him. He was starting Kindergarten, changing schools, meeting new friends, leaving his Mommy. A few joyful moments before we left the house....

 

...and then the panic set in. These 2 images were taken before he flipped his lid and made me put the camera away. Yes, my adorable blonde boy, in a tie, crying like a baby and clinging to my leg. He was that kid. 

"Mommy, please don't go! Mommy, please stay with me! Mommy, please DON'T LEEEEEEAVE MEEEEEEEE!!!!!" (Mind you, Mommies and Daddies were allowed to stay the entire 1st day of school.)

Eventually, he calmed down enough to realize that his teacher was quite nice, he knew a friend or two, and that there were fun things to be done.

  

This last image is probably one of my favorites....ever. Part of his anxiety was caused by the fact that he was asked to lay on the concrete and smile for a picture (the horror!) I'm pretty sure I promised him doughnuts if he would give me just one smile. He did, and then he sat up and said, "Mommy, I just need a minute to sit." 

Sit, my son, I will wait for you always.