Our Story: My Side

There are two sides to this story....this is the first half of mine.

Yesterday was beautiful. Yesterday was full of anticipation, hand made goodness and warm, mountain light. It was an easy drive, a fully charged battery, and 24 MB of free space, waiting for perfection, images pure and true. It was one of those "I just got over my 12 hour bug and now I'm ready to conquer the world" days. It changed me, it altered my thinking and the way I view my God. Yesterday was a miracle that I can hold in my hand, that I can squeeze until I nearly strangle it. The miracle is tangible, real, I can taste it....it astounds me....

Yesterday was Tyler and Landon's shoot.

We had postponed this shoot a few times, location changes, wardrobe changes, babysitter issues. Finally heading up to Oak Glen was lovely. Holly and I marveled at the leaves, seemingly on fire from the season, burning in red and orange, falling upon the winding mountain rode, lifting in the wind as we flew past them. We talked about my Hubby's dream of owning land someday....possibly on this mountain side. Landon loved on his bottle, Tyler quietly took in all that his beautiful brown eyes could, absorbing every last turn, giggling with his brother from time to time. My insides jumped with excitement, thoughts of exposure and Speedlites running through my mind. Would we have enough sun? Did we leave too late?

There was sun, warm, inviting and glorious sun...sun that poured upon those boys, enveloping them in a heavenly glow. This type of sun, directly in my camera's sensor, makes it more difficult to achieve a perfect focus, makes me work harder, makes me passionately on fire for my art. This type of sun orders me onto the ground of a greasy parking lot, it taunts me, it challenges me, I fight it each time, I will get my shot. The sun will surrender to my art, the lens will flare exactly how I want it to, the sun will not tell me how to shoot.

We were blissful, Tyler was exploring, Landon was snuggly. Our shoot was amazing for almost an hour. I shot over 400 frames, and was ready for 400 more. Two weeks earlier, my own family and I had found a delicious spot past the apple orchard, past the pumpkin patch, at the top of the wheat field. Our next 400 frames were to be captured there, at that spot. THE spot. I was just there, it was a long walk, it would be worth it. So we walked. We walked. We kept walking. We laughed about our weak legs muscles. We stopped and traded babies. We gave Tyler an apple. We walked again. We headed into the trees....past the apple orchard, past the pumpkin patch, at the top of the wheat field.

I shot one frame of Tyler, and it happened. In that last frame, he had his hands covering his eyes. In the next second, I found out why...

(to be continued)

The Search For Help Begins

Somewhere between the head wound and the good glass of wine that followed, I came to the realization that I can't do it all on my own anymore. I can't be super mom, super wife, super daughter/sister/friend, super house keeper, super chauffeur, super photographer, super blogger, super church singer and super Mom2Mom Leader. The decision has been made....I'm hiring a house keeper. I've had two consultations so far, one today, I'm hoping to have someone start next week. Here is a list of what I need to get done THIS weekend.....

Family:

Take care of kids while Scott is at a 2 night Bachelor party (hmmm...)

Laundry

Potty train Ava

Clean out pantry

Go through Aden's clothes

PLAY

Business:

Finish editing Susan and Al's wedding (then blog, FB, get an album designed and ship their disc)

Finish editing baby Cayden's shoot (then blog, FB, and give them a disc)

Mail a disc to Riley's Farm (who is patiently waiting for it)

Order tri-fold cards

Finish ordering "Welcome Packet" materials

Call back a client to schedule her shoot

Design my jewel case covers (or lead Holly in the right direction so that she can do it)

Edit Ryan's headshots (then give him a disc)

Get up at sunrise on Sunday and drive to Malibu to shoot a wedding)

Mom2Mom:

Re-cap this week's speaker on the blog

Organize all of the flyers, handouts ECT

Get in touch with Jason about leading worship

Get in touch with Kameron about Mom's Night Out

Add 4 new moms to the contact list

SOOO after this post, I hope to stop complaining about how busy I am and actually get a grip on all of this....someone pray for me.

He Throws His Toys

Some days, I swim in a pool of warm and inviting love that my children pour for me. We have picnics in our backyard, we paint birdhouses and hang them in the deep purple tree that I used to hate. Some days, we cook dinner together for Daddy, making a mess of the kitchen and not caring. Other days, though, aren't as pretty. Other days, are downright ugly....

He threw a wooden block at my head and split it open. When it bled, I cried. When I cried, he laughed. The harder he laughed, the harder I cried. Aden's Autism makes it difficult for him to understand emotion...it also prevents him from reacting to it properly. When he saw me so upset, all he could go was fall on the floor and laugh. In my moment of hysterics and pain, all I wanted to do was scream, "Do you remember how I lovingly put clean jammies on you and brought you to my bed this morning to snuggle after you had an accident?! Do you care that I take care of you everyday and do everything I can to show love to you?!?!?!?!" He didn't remember that, though. He just laughed. I sent him to his room, where he happily played with his toys. Not a care in the world. Not a shred of remorse. Later, when I had collected myself, I showed his my head, and he understood, and was shocked.

"Mommy, I broke you!" he said, wide eyed.

"Yes Buddy, you did, because you threw your toy."

"Mommy, I won't throw my toys anymore, and I'll make you all better. (kiss). There! Is it better now?!?!?!"

"No, but it will be."

Some days are hard.

He's Four

My beautiful boy is four. Four. Just saying it feels foreign. Now, he has to eat four bites of his dinner, not three. He uses words like "delectable". He goes to school three days a week. He's learning about fire safety.....his vocabulary word this week its "tart". He's done learning how to crawl, walk and talk. Today, he played with Mia on the playground for a full 10 minutes. He chased her, laughed with her, climbed the big boy toys with her. I want to take her home with us, bottle her up, and love her for engaging him for so long! He now says that he has a best friend. "Aiden Lugar. A-i-d-e-n". He knows that Aiden's name is spelled differently than his....he is four....but he's still my Baby.

Long Overdue....

Seriously?! I haven't blogged about my family in over two months.....seriously?!?!?! Well, Fall is here (sort of) and I plan on blogging often (ha!). Eventually, I'd like to make this blog in to a book about my family....so I had better keep it updated. No more missing chapters....my boy is 4....more to come.

Beach

Once it hit 105 degrees here in this exhaustingly hot desert, we headed for the beach, where the temperature never rose above 68 degrees. Aden played....Ava sat. He loves the water, running toward the waves like it's the coolest thing in the entire world. Ava doesn't like water, or being cold and wet, the beach is not for her....she sat in her chair and played with sand and rocks for 6 hours!

4th of July

The 4th of July was a rough day for me....I was thoroughly and undeniably under the weather. I spent much of the day in bed, moaning, groaning and complaining, trying to pry out even a shred of pity from anyone who may have walked by our bedroom. Eventually, I had to roll out of bed and meet my fate...the shower. How warm streams of soft and calming water can heal you, I'll never know. Off we went to Scott's brother's house for a little McGihon family love.

Home made lemon ice cream with fresh, summer strawberries....and a vintage overlay to add to the nostalgia of it all.

They had no idea what to think of the fireworks

Hiding behind Grandma and Papa

Safe in Daddy's arms