Flailing. Adventure. And Stuff.

I feel as if I'm flailing about, aimlessly. Helplessly. Never ending. Reaching, but for what? For whom? These days, the last days of my mother's rehab stint, are spent in a confused blur. Where will she go? What will she do, when she may do as she pleases? Sometimes, I don't care. Other times, it consumes me. She is free in 2 days.

Today my 13 year old brother jumped into the front seat of our used minivan and sang (at the top of his lungs), "Today was an amazing day full of adventure and STUFF!" 

My, how I miss the days full of adventure....and stuff. 

Not all days are this heavy, this saturated with family issues. Some days shine. Some days, we book weddings. We teach workshops. We read emails from clients who are thrilled. We laugh, We love on our babies, and no one cries. These types of days are covered in sparkles. Gold glitter, everywhere. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. I know that the end of raising my sisters is coming. One, slow day at a time. We are constantly closer. I am hopeful, slightly. 

Adventure and stuff are coming. I crave this summer. I crave the heat on my skin. There is freedom in the summer. This summer, I will have my family back. This summer, we will have adventure....

...and stuff.