The Flu and Writing

I have the flu and I'm writing a book. I'm hoping that if I put both of those things out there, one of them will disappear and the other will actually happen. 

When Ava was very young, I started writing. I wanted other Moms to know it's OK to have a terror for a child, and that things will get better. I suppose I was writing out of desperation, which was quickly followed by big dreams, a title and chapter outlines. The book chronicles my first 5 years as Sassy's Momma and how we not only survived each other, but came out on the other side, better. I have no idea where this will go and I'm not sure that anyone would actually pay money to read my book. In my head, I talk myself out of it each time I sit down to write.

"I don't have time."
"I've never written anything...why would anyone care?"
"I'm not the best parent, so who am I to give parenting advice?"
"Adding one more thing to my plate is a bad idea."
"How would I ever choose and image for the cover?"
"Self publish or try to get an agent?"
"I don't know how to write a query letter."
"Oh, and I don't know how to write a book."

When I sit back and look at the big picture, I realize that I'm the only one standing in my way. It's sad, really, that we can so easily talk ourselves out of our dreams because we're afraid.

I'm afraid of failing.

If you read this, and I fail at writing my book, I'll be embarrassed. That would suck. Maybe the pressure of knowing it's out there will help me finish...we shall see.

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