The Good Part of the Aftermath

I had the most beautiful drive on my way to work on Saturday. I was shooting a wedding in Topanga Canyon, near Malibu. Here I am, blond hair everywhere, driving down CA HWY 1, waves crashing about, dense and salty air pouring through the car, with German opera blaring through the speakers. Here I am, singing and spitting (German opera, people, a bit of spit is required) at the top of my lungs, and I didn't care. People thought I was nuts, people stared, I didn't care, and it was glorious. I thrive off of creative, sporadic and fleeting moments like this. All too soon, the German opera was over, and on came something in Spanish. I can't sing in Spanish...

It was overwhelmingly fitting that most of the songs at church this morning were about being alive. "It's all because of Jesus I'm alive". I stood in the dark next to Holly, glancing at her occasionally, watching her try to keep it together, to not let her tears actually fall. If they fell, then she would be crying, she doesn't like to cry. I've seen her cry more this last week than I have since I've known her, which has been since we were 17. I dropped Ava off in her classroom, and Tyler was waiting for her with a warm smile. I wanted to scoop him up and squeeze his safe and healthy little body. He was not having it....I suppose he didn't get the "Hey Buddy, we were in a totally terrorizing, horrifying, scar you for life, freakish incident and now we all love each other a whole lot more than we did the day before" memo.

Since the bee attack (yes, the attack), I've come to find that I'm so much more in love with my God, my husband, my kids, and my life. Today we went to the mall after church. We ate greasy food court pizza, and shopped for a suit...Hubby's dressing up for a friend's wedding. A night away for us is in the very near future, thank you Jason and Melanie, for getting married and giving us a great excuse to get away! Thick, juicy, savor-every-last-drop life.

There were so many times when the responsibilities of my family and my growing business would overwhelm me....not anymore. I've hired a housekeeper, she starts on Wednesday. I dated my husband this week. Dinner AND a movie...it was divine and intoxicating, not just because of a delicious glass of Pino Noir at dinner, but because of us. US. We've still got it, and it's good. A few days ago, he told me that it felt "new". I've let that slowly sink in over these past 4 days. It's been 7 years, and he feels like it's new....deliriously intoxicating.

The Aftermath isn't all good, though. It isn't all love and children and wine and a clean house. There are fears, phobias, if you will. I know that these will not soon ease, we'll address them later I suppose. I may need more Pino Noir to write about that....it's still too fresh and new.