Church

We haven't been going to church for a long time now. Occasionally, we brave the screams of our poor little boy and go to Southwest, only to pick him up from his classroom and find that he has cried-the entire time. It's just easier not to go at this point. I know that this has been VERY detrimental to my walk with God. I miss singing at church so much sometimes that I don't even want to go and see people that I know leading worship. It just makes me sad. I don't know why Scott and I never get called to sing at SWCC, it will forever remain a mystery to me. I am very bitter, and I hate being bitter. We decided that we HAVE to go to church, so this morning we tried a new one! Wow-what a huge step for us. We went to "The Rock" near Cook Street. I liked it, but it was very small and we felt a bit out of place. Aden actually played in the nursery (after his initial panic attack) and he and Ava were in the same room-which I absolutely loved!!!!!! I don't think we will go back but I feel it is a step in the right direction. It was good to worship. I know that things will never be the same for Scott and I as far as church is concerned. We fell in love at Southwest, singing and acting together. I've recently admitted to Scott (and myself) that I will never find something in life that I love to do as much as being on stage. I do love photography-it's given me a chance to be creative again-but it will never be the same. I guess only people who are involved in music and drama can understand the void that you experience when those things are missing from your life. It is miserable. I'm aching for it...

Enough of that. So we did go to church and next week we will try a new one. Maybe someday we will find our way back to Southwest. Maybe.